When it comes right down to reality, there is very little in this life that we, as individuals, actually own. Think about it: Do you own your own home? Or does a bank or mortgage company own it and you’re paying them for the right to live there? How about your car? Do you own it outright, or are you paying off a bank loan, leasing or finance company for the privilege to use the vehicle until that loan is paid off? If you’re lucky and have managed to actually pay off those debts, then those items of “real property” might actually be considered your possessions. Of course, even after paying off your home, you might still be paying ongoing property taxes for the land your home sits on, in perpetuity!
And yes, there are other items that you might actually own, like appliances, furniture, clothing, etc. But beyond that, what else do you really own?
Your name and identity!
Who you are and how you represent yourself are, in fact, your most important possessions. While your identity can be usurped by unscrupulous bad actors, and it is very important that you do everything you can to prevent that from happening, that is not the focus of this post. Your name and the reputation that is associated with it are truly the most important things you own.
For many people, the spelling and pronunciation of their names is of little question. Certainly, in the English language, many names are easily recognized and pronounced with no difficulty or confusion. But for others, the way their names are pronounced may deviate from the obvious, yet that difference remains an intrinsic part of that individual’s identity.
For example, let’s look at the name “Stephen.” Some, like Golden State Warriors basketball great, Stephen Curry, pronounces his name utilizing the “F’ sound for the “ph” spelling in his name. Whereas, TV talk show host, Stephen Colbert, who spells his first name the same way as Mr. Curry, pronounces his first name using the “V” sound for the ‘ph.” And rather than a hard “rt” sound at the end of his sir-name, he chooses the softer “er” conclusion, even though, he has stated on his show, other members of his family have opted for the harder “rt”. These are personal choices and a fundamental part of their identity.
In our integrated and multi-cultural environment, many names originate from far-away places, are lengthy and multisyllabic, and might legitimately be hard to pronounce. It is up to the individual to recognize another’s difficulty in that pronunciation and help them understand how to say their name correctly.
If you’re from France or your family is of French origin, and your name is spelled, “DIAMOND,” you may not want it pronounced like the precious gemstone. Your preference might be Dee Ah Monde. A culturally influenced personal choice. It is your identify, your name, and you are entitled to have it pronounced as you see fit.
In my own case, many people assume that Hank is a nick-name for Henry, as was the case for baseball great, Henry (a.k.a. Hank) Aaron, but they would be wrong. Henry has never been, nor ever will be my first name. To the world, I am Hank.
Years ago, I ran into former ABC News reporter, Joan Lunden, and told her that many folks misspelled my last name because they assumed it was spelled the same as hers. She told me her name had been shortened from Blunden, an Australian sir-name. Ever since then, when necessary, I state that my last name is spelled like the city (in England). You’d be amazed at how many people still get it wrong!
It is imperative that you stand up for your right to be addressed as is your preference. Interviewers may or may not know exactly how you want your name pronounced. Certainly, you can choose to ignore a mispronunciation of your name, but sometimes an employer will deliberately distort your name in an effort to make you uncomfortable and see how you respond. Regardless of the reason behind the alteration, there is nothing wrong with politely correcting the misuse. If your inquisitor repeatedly mispronounces your name after being corrected, they are being deliberately rude and disrespectful and presenting you with the question of whether you want to work for their company.
Those with long careers doing one thing, are often associated with their job titles. Mary the programmer, Doctor Edward, Jane the architect, Calvin the dentist. As a society, we often make certain assumptions about a person based on their profession or job title, but does that fully convey who that person really is? Of course not! Those job titles only serve to identify what someone does, not who they are. Although those titles might provide some insight into the underlying individual, like diligence, hard-working, dedicated, etc., the person’s character, personality, and heart may or may not be reflected in their professional credentials.
Let’s be less assumptive about who a person is based on their name. In fact, let’s not judge people by their names at all! With or without any additional information, a name serves to identify an individual. As strong as that representation is, it is only the beginning of your introduction to who that person really is. If you really want to know more about a person, ask! So, tell me, who are you?
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